Jonas Brothers

Ladies and Gentlemen, I humbly request that you glance at the name of the author who wrote this article. I am relieving Liz (NimrodOnElmStreet) from the usual routine and I now take the reigns that steer our beloved community of rock fans.

Please understand that this article was supposed to be a full review of the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, however, after Liz and myself sat through most of the shenanigans, we decided that there would be no saving the event and instead opted to offer a more sensible tone to the youth, not just of the United States, but of the entire world.

First off let me start by actually thanking the 2009 Teen Choice Awards for finally giving me something to write about after so long. Unfortunately, the only reason I am passionate enough to write about this event, is simply because of how shocked I was at what I saw. Lets begin this journey through 2 hours of televised garbage with the Jonas Brothers.

The Ceremony started off with a poorly faked presidential news conference in which the Jo-Bros asked President Barack Obama a series of extremely idiotic questions. For example "Twilight is up for a record 12 Teen Choice Awards this year and my question is, do you think I'm better looking than Robert Pattinson?". Uh, give me a break. Shortly after, a long list of guests is presented while loud obnoxious screaming teen girls lose all my respect. Oh the horror! Just to be fair however, I will continue watching this abomination all the while pretending that stabbing my eyes out wouldn't be more humane.

First up to present was comedian George Lopez. Why, look at that! They say that he is also the winner of Choice Comedian. WHAT?!? Compared to who? The Jonas Brothers? Because based on the intro, a rock would be funnier than them. Alas, the opening words chosen by the comedian were old and hackneyed. "Change has come to America". Now, my initial response was, what change? Barack Obama was elected months ago, it's old news. "Thank you teens, for voting me, a Latino, choice comedian". Oh, you mean as opposed to Carlos Mencia which just steals jokes from other people. I see. Hate to tell you this Carlos, but you didn't win because you are funny, you won because you were the only Comedian that kids actually recognize. I mean he was in Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the other nominees are barely even teen friendly, I mean Dane Cook was nominated? But enough about Carlos, he is presenting the winners for choice actress and actor. Chase Crawford and Leighton Meester. Sigh. Can I be the first to give my condolences to Joshua Jackson and Olivia Wild who are by far superior than these wannabees ever will be? Let's move on.

Hey, there's someone I recognize! The cast of iCarly! How do I know them? Oh well you see, my 8 year old cousin watches it. I thought this was supposed to be the Teen Choice Awards, yet the shows attract an audience that should just be watching cartoons. Gee, I wonder why that is. Could it be that is how stupid the show is? Could it be that the show really makes no sense once you look into it? Teenager Carly lives with her dimwit brother that can barely take care of his own ass, and oh yeah, somehow she has all this money to buy all this equipment to run her website. Here is a hint, the owners of Nimrod Street do NOT have anything close to the equipment that she has. But alas, they are here to present "Choice Twit". They go on to explain that while the dictionary defines a Twit as a silly person, now it means to be someone that uses Twitter a lot. So while you are all Nimrods for reading our site, does that mean that all people who use Google are "Googlers"? "Goobers" maybe? Whatever. AND THE WINNER IS, Ellen DeGeneres! By the way, in case you were wondering, the other nominees were what Conan O'Brien's Twitter Tracker would call "Weak Tweets" I guess Ellen just had a Sweet Tweet?

 All I can say about the Choice Comedy winner is, Zach Effron? Seriously? Against the likes of Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Seth Rogen and, while not my absolute favorite, Will Ferrel? Yep, Teen Choice all right, pick the "cute one" over the actual people that are original and actually funny. While I admit that "Yes Man" was a spin off from "Liar Liar" May I point out that Disney had already produced a movie ironically called, "Seventeen Again". No I didn't misspell that. I was not linking to "17 Again".

Next up, Choice Movie Fresh Face Male and Female. Taylor Lautner and Ashley Greene. Again no surprise there. Have teens even watched Slumdog Millionaire? I can honestly tell you right now that they have much more talent than the cast of Twilight does.

Next up Choice, Drama Movie. My Sister's Keeper. Why? Because all of the other movies nominated except for Angels and Demons were rated R. And what self respecting teen would vote for a movie they had to see accompanied by their parents?

Oh here's Miley Cyrus getting her head filled with hot air again. Let me see if I can pretend that the nails on chalkboard effect that her voice has on me doesn't bother me as much as it really does. The girl comes out of a trailer home that's on stage dressed like a typical little white trash trailer park whore. Oh and what's that she's doing? She is pole dancing like a stripper! Is this the type of person that teens should idolize and emulate? I think not! Why do we let this happen? The biggest insult is that she is winning in the music category. GRRR. Ok lets fast forward on my TiVo here, oh, why the hell is True Blood on here? That's like a pornographic Twilight!

This was funny, Kevin Jonas was dared to get a tattoo of the winner for the Choice Movie: Action Adventure category. Luckily for Kevin, the winner was Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. While I am happy that Jackman won, therefore giving Kevin a sweet looking Wolverine tat, I have to confess that I would have rather loved if the Jonas Brother had gotten a permanent tattoo of Shia LaBeouf!

And now for the highlight of the evening. Recipient of the "Ultimate Choice Award", and Miley Cyrus' "hero"... Britney Spears. WHAT!?! Where do I start? Well, I guess first off it makes sense that Miley Cyrus has been compared to BS by so many. But this is exactly why the world is going down the toilet. Now I admit, I like many other pre-adolescent males in the 90's was in love with Ms. Sucks-a-lot, but that was before all the truth came out about how much of a whore she really was. Miley is not too far from the tree either. Lets not forget the other teen stars that have had scandals in their pasts like Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Lynn Spears. Can we please stop awarding people that misuse the ability they have to shape the way that teens act? I mean, we pretend like its OK that a celebrity does it, but we don't stop to think that anyone else having the same problem would be looked down upon.

Alas, What can I do? I see things in a way that no one else seems to share. I mean, before this night I didn't even know about "Ms. J". For the sake of me actually getting to go to bed at some point before 5am, I will not be getting into that last one, but feel free to look her, I mean, him, up.

Want to know what is worse? The end of the show states that "Winners for the Teen Choice Awards were determined through voting on the teenchoiceawards.com website. The results of the voting were tabulated electronically by teenchoiceawards.com and confirmed by a committee of FOX representatives. Teenasaurus Rox Inc. had the right to determine the winners from among the top four vote getters of the nominees in each of 88 categories. Ultimate choice was determined solely by the producers." What does this mean? That the "awards" are not necessarily "Teen Choice". Which explains why Green Day lost Choice Rock Track to the Jonas Brothers.

So why did I share all of this with you, the loyal readers of Nimrod Street? Because I believe that it is up to us to rise up and say no more to all of this crap that we see on a daily basis. We need to spread the word around, that just because a tv program tells us that the winners were "Teen Choice" doesn't mean that it is true. That it is just the way that companies tell you what to like and what to spend your money on. This is not a measure of success, its all faked!

Just my 2 cents.

NG

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Hello peeps, how are you doing today?

Happy Memorial Day everyone, hope you're all having a good day!

Sales for concerts is booming despite the recession according to mysanantonio.com.

As with movies, tickets for tours are going strong, and concert promotion business are using what they call value ticketing. That means, that multi ticket sales are split into two groups, "four pack" or "family pack."

Editor-in-chief at Pollstar, Gary Bongiovanni says that spending some hard earned cash at shows isn't as bad as it may seem, "things are holding steady. That's a good thing. With the economic worries, splurging on concert tickets doesn't seem so bad."

Above all the other venues in the nation, the AT&T Center is the best place to indulge in some live music. Mostly because it has replaced the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. John Sparks from the Center offers his two cents, "it's been good across a wide spectrum of shows. You have to have a wide variety because people don't want to go to the same old thing all the time. They need that time out on the town."

Earlier in the month, country singer Kenny Chesney has attracted over 12,000 fans. Metallica is entirely sold out, and Disney boy band, the Jonas Brothers will soon follow suit. These two upcoming shows will attract at the very least, 16,000 music lovers.

Creed, Coldplay and Green Day are expected to have significant numbers as well. Who else will perform at the AT&T Center? The Vans Warped Tour will appear mid-summer, Tool is coming in July, and George Lopez will film a live comedy stint for HBO August 7th.

That's not all! A young female pop star is returning to the San Antonio AT&T Center this coming fall, and will attract 17,000 followers. Jamie Foxx is also said to perform!

For those of you who love ethnic music, Splashtown is launching their Grammy-studded Tejano music series in the summer. You can expect to see acts like Ram Herrera, Chente Barrera and Ruben Ramos all on the same night. The show is free with park admission which totals up to $15.99 for individuals that bring a Big Red soda bottle!

Concert promoter, Glenn Smith adds that package shows and festivals will offer the biggest bang for your buck, "what is in right now, and I'm seeing it across the country, 'value' is in."

Speaking of summer tours, in another article from ca.sys-con.com, Blink 182 have the top ticket of the week from TicketLiquidators.com. They are the the top provider for hard to find, low priced tickets.

It was announced today that it offers admission entry to the North American tour for the SoCal punk rockers. The article also states that the guys may also perform new songs from their upcoming sixth album expected to drop in 2010, let's not forget their fan favorite hits like, "Dammit".

Blink will hit the road on a 47 date tour with supporting acts such as: Weezer, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Chester French and Taking Back Sunday on select dates. 

Managing Editor for TicketLiquidator, Alexandra Owens says this is going to be the tour of the year, "Blink 182 fans are ecstatic in anticipation of the reunion of this popular group after a few rocky episodes involving the bands members. We encourage the band's followers to comparison shop online and discover that TicketLiquidator.com offers low-priced Blink 182 tickets to the tour starting at thirty-three dollars a piece as well as affordable tickets to the other popular concert tour sin 2009."

According to comScore, TicketLiquidator is the second most used ticketing website. Not only do they sell passes for concerts, they also do theatrical and sporting events. Adding on to this, their inventory includes over 4 million tickets for more than 83,000 events. 

That's right everyone! We're not going to let a little recession get in our way of experiencing awesome live shows, see on the road. Be there or be square!

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